Missing someone this much hurts so bad.
MF Doom - Potholderz (ft. Count Bass)
"A lot of niggas wish to die
They need to hold they horses
There’s bigger fish to fry”
Without to this song I would have never known about Count Bass!
(I’ll try to follow that quote)
I’m rly fucked up and naked in the rain I suggest doing it
Drunk swimming I connected with the moon and stars
I miss you so much tonight
I’ve been hit with a few fucking horrible things in life and come out alive but it seems like the only thing that really kills me is love and heart break.
Numbing yourself only perpetuates the pain. Go crazy. Beat your chest, have a tantrum and flail on the ground, stomp the floor, get hysterical. If you’re feeling destroyed don’t let it fester away inside. You have to let that go, and numbing it doesn’t weaken it’s effect- it only prolongs it. I think it’s a huge cultural mistake to teach people to bottle up their anger and not have a tantrum or cry or get hysterical. Get drunk and dance and cry and pound the floor and breathe heavily. Then write a poem or sing the lyrics to a song that you feel relates to how you’re feeling. Write your ex a letter of how you feel then burn it in a fire and go crazy dancing around the fire. Experience the pain. Let it hit you hard, and don’t fight it with drugs, be a hysterical mess and then move past it. You’ve got to let that out.
Also, everything that is going on in your head is just an abstract idea. It’s just an impression. The pain you feel is an abstract idea of pain. Your body- and the please you can experience in your body- has a great deal of dominance over any kind of mental construct of pain or pleasure that is just an idea, not a genuine sensation. So move, dance, hike, run, lift weights, box- draw your energy back to your body and feel alive. Feel joy- go to a club and lose yourself in the music and just dance and feel the release.
Pain can paralyze you- push through the discomfort and practice getting yourself to a place where you can lose yourself in music or a physical activity, and transcend the mental damage you’re doing in perpetuating the sadness associated with the break up. Once you’re in this place- close your eyes and mediate- by that I just mean be mindful of your body and the pleasure you’re intrinsically experiencing- and in this state of bliss tell yourself good things. Be grateful for the open doors that lie ahead of you, be grateful for the lessons that are making their way into your life. Open yourself up to positivity. Convince yourself of the goodness that lies ahead.
Instead of taking your mind of the pain- transcend it and make space for positivity. Because every morning you wake up is an opportunity to grow and improve and distance yourself more and more from the negativity if you actively incorporate practices that unfold you. We’re given the challenges that are necessary to grow- so keep your chin up and don’t let yourself be caught in these mental traps. Abstraction doesn’t have power in the end.
You think you have all this time with a person and then it just runs out
Lol what the fuck I feel like I’m a chicken